How to Relax when you feel like you can't
We’ve all experienced it… feeling anxious not able to let go and relax. Waking in the middle of the night with too many thoughts going through your head. The more you try to relax the more you feel like you can’t settle down. Breathing can be the answer. How can something as simple as breath become something so hard for us to do? Breathing is part of us and always there for us. We talk about breath to express ourselves…” a breath of fresh air” “I can’t catch my breath”, “it’s simply breathtaking” “ breathe a sigh of relief“ “ quit breathing down my neck”. We don’t think of it as a resource, something we can use to help ourselves. We don’t think of it as a resource that we have to help ourselves. Research of relaxation has shown that breathing techniques can help people who are anxious and unable to slow their breathing to relax.
Breathing to learn to relax.
Our breath has a cycle with 4 parts. Inhale filling with breath, pause after inhale, Exhale emptying breath out, and pause after exhale.
There are many breathing techniques that I teach to help students relax. Today I want to explain how to use your exhales. Early in my teaching I started to use open mouth exhales to release and let go in yoga poses. The way it works is to simply open your mouth as you exhale. It works in two ways, as you open your mouth it stretches your jaw open and as you let your breath go you naturally lengthen your breath. The tightness held in your jaw causes your upper back and shoulders to tighten. When you open your mouth, it releases tension in your body. When you lengthen your exhale, it signals your nervous system to slow down. Our breath is connected to our nervous system. One of my first yoga teachers put it this way,
“ Your mind follows your breath”. Meaning if your breath is shallow and fast your mind will be anxious and fast. But when your breath is slow and relaxed your mind becomes relaxed and you can calm down.
Combining breath with yoga poses:
Yoga poses move your body and stretch muscles. This is also a way to learn to relax. Forward folds are very calming and relaxing. I include folds in all my yoga classes. One helpful way to step your feet wide apart, slide your hands down your legs as you fold forward. Keep your knees soft and relax through your head and shoulders. When my kids were little, and we all got tired and hungry before supper I would use this pose. I would encourage my kids to join me. It seemed to change our focus and things seemed easier. I still do it
Combining poses and breath is how I teach yoga. To demonstrate it here let’s set the scene. It’s Friday you’re tired from a long day and you need to get dinner ready. Start by just giving yourself a space that is quiet so you will not be disturbed for a few minutes, bathrooms work perfectly.
Stand with your feet about hips-width apart take a slow breath in and as you start to exhale slide your hands down your legs as you fold forward.
Stay in the pose and exhale with an open mouth for 3-4 breaths. Slowly slide your hand back up your legs as you come back to standing. This can be the start of your personal yoga practice. One pose, One breath technique you’re on your way to becoming relaxed.
Remember be patient with yourself. Treat yourself as you would a good friend. If she was upset and you wanted to help her you would be patient and kind and give her space to let go. Give yourself the same kindness.
Link here to my yoga membership to practice with me.
“If we know how to breathe correctly, it can be a powerful tool to help us manage mind, emotions, and body “